xmas break

Welp, I worked for almost 7 months and only took one day off to get a root canal, so this xmas break has been thoroughly enjoyed.

Got a new laptop (it's going to be my downstairs internet / design cpu). maybe i'll get another monitor for it.

Gotta pay rent today!! (just saw a faded RENT written on my hand).

Got Need For Speed : Carbon. It's pretty good. Glad to have a racing game.

Workin on my mom's photography website (link to come later). Best part : my dad's been helping me with the actionscript! haha. so good. it's great to see him get really excited about something i'm really excited about.

don't tickle me!!!!!!!!

It's been a long time. Shouldn't of left you. Left you without a dope beat to step to. Step to. Step to. Step. Step to.

Ok. Enough rapping.

A general post on my life:

// Work is going great.

// I went to Boston for a User Interface conference last week (ui13). I learned a ton.

// My roommates are more than great. I love them so much.

// Blowing Rock Ale is only OK.

// But Magic Hat #9 is better than I remembered.

I've been listening to Bat For Lashes a lot lately. It's great. It's really been paralleling with my life. Insightful, emotional, heavy, strong, passionate, playful.

I also listened to a recorded reading on the importance of separating the kingdom of god and salvation. salvation is not the end as it is often preached. the kingdom of god is what should be sought after salvation / baptism. good stuff. life.

Denial is Real Dumb

Sliced finger
Packing / Cleaning
African chicken dish
Lots of friends
Hot tub
"The Music Box" video
Phone conversations
Call of Duty 4

This is what I filled my day with. It was really good, but I think I need some serious time alone.
I need to buy a journal. A real one. One that I'm not afraid to say what I think.
I need to allow myself to be at least a little wounded. I know everything is going to work out (I'm not the one in control anyways). But things still hurt sometimes. Feeling that pain is not a bad thing. But denial is real dumb.

I need more of his goodness. his joy. his love.

graduation

wow.

i just listened to coach jerry moore give the commencement speech, walked across the stage, and turned the tassel. it's official. i've graduated!! it feels so surreal. its been five years. i am definitely not the same person i was when i started. and that is a good thing. God has been better than good to me, His blessings are countless, and I couldn't be more thrilled about my life.

surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, and i will dwell in the house of the LORD forever... forever, including today, tomorrow, and the next day! that is so exciting!!!!

i am so grateful for my mom and dad for their endless support/prayers, putting me through college. they are the best in the world for sure.

what an unforgettable weekend. thanks to everybody for making it what it was. you are all the best!! i love you all. mom, dad, g-rents, benji, tom, forman, brady, sam, ian, scott, matt, laura, karis. seriously the best.

dirty girl

Tom says I'm a "dirty girl." He says it so much that I almost believe him sometimes. When I'm by myself, and I do something dumb (real dumb), I find myself saying, "Austin, you dirty girl, what are you doing?" Thanks Tom. Preesh.

thinking about people

I've been thinking a lot lately about people... and how every person is different. My mom was at my apartment last weekend, and I thought about how I know her really well. We share a lot with each other. But as I was talking with her, it hit me that she is a different person than me. Sometimes when you are extremely close to someone, you feel like you are experiencing the same things. You feel each others pains and joys. But even as close as I am to my mother, I will never be her. I will never see the world exactly as she sees it. We are living two different lives. Our lives are very interconnected and involved, yet really so distant.

It was basically a realization that made me appreciate people individually. I am myself. No other person completely knows me. No other person comes even close to knowing me. And that is neat.

Even though we know relatively so little about each other, we relate and interact and love each other. By "we" I don't just mean my mom and me, but everyone.

I love my mom. She is awesome.